27th Jan | Break Something Every Day

This was actually Australia day. Because I did it yesterday. So Happy ‘Stralia Day! Clare (remember my trusty sidekick?) continued the trend and broke her wine glass.

26th Jan | Break Something Every Day

So I uploaded this before. On the day. But it didn’t work.

So this is the worst image ever but apparently this is a broken stein glass.

24th and 25th Jan | Break Something Every Day

SO I already did these days but the Tumblr app on my phone didn’t seem to work. Stupid.

Also my camera I use to film things has stopped working. Won’t turn on so I might have trouble adding more breakage. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU….

Anyway, This episode we have a POTATO and a CLOCK.

The potato I found in the fridge and it has sprouts on it, so I had to “break” it. The filming was a bit lame sorry.

The second thing is the clock. I got it from Chickenfeed so I wasn’t expecing it to be amazing, but IT WAS! (Sort of…) As you can see in the video the clock was a dud and TIME WENT BACKWARDS ON IT! Seriously. The video you see is not reversed. That is raw time-defying footage. So I guess the clock needed to die or the space-time continuum would of shit it’s pants.

23rd Jan | Break Something Every Day

A take away container. I had broken a plastic fork before but not a container. Come on, I have 366 things to break this year. Not all of them can be awesome.

No idea why I’m shaking so much in this. Might be the coffee.

21st and 22nd Jan | Break Something Every Day

Old calculator and a Nutri grain.

Yeah exciting. Nutri grain. You should have expected me breaking something dumb like that at one point or another.

But it’s okay because I made up for it by breaking an old fassioned calculator. I got it at an opp shop. Then I was about to throw it out when moving house. Why not break it? I was worried it’s a rare antique or something but then I remembered they gave it to me for free at the opp shop. So it must not be worth anything. 

It probably had dangerous chemicals in it. Lead? Asbestos? Aids? Who knows.

Let’s hope not.

20th Jan | Break Something Every Day

I popped some balloons. I broke the latex that went around the air inside… I am gangster…

18th and 19th | Break Something Every Day

Yeah so that was ages ago. But never fear, broken things are here.

Today was a empty coffee jar and a fruit jelly.

They broke. I promise.

The coffee one is probably the coolest thing I’ve broken yet. The way it shatters in the corner and then on the second landing it falls to pieces. Niiiiiiiiice.

The jelly just looked cool because of the backing light shining on it. All those drops fly outwards. Yay.

So, I have been in Melbourne applying for courses and signing leases and things so I haven’t been able to upload anything. BUT NOW I CAN.

I’ve decided that at the end of this 1 year of breaking things, I’m going to make a 1 minute long montage of every single thing breaking in a row. Who would like to see that? I know I would.

17th Jan | Break Something Every Day

FORKING HELL.

I did not just say that.

I typed it.

Anyway this one was me releasing my inner rage and stabbing the bench at work with a plastic fork. The bench won.

16th Jan | Break Something Every Day

Paper Nautilus

This is a sad tale of accidental breakage. It wasn’t actually me that did it, but this was broken today. 

http://www.google.com.au/#hl=en&cp=20&gs_id=1r&xhr=t&q=paper+nautilus+shell&pf=p&sclient=psy-ab&safe=off&source=hp&pbx=1&oq=paper+nautilus+shell&aq=0&aqi=g3g-v1&aql=&gs_sm=&gs_upl=&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.,cf.osb&fp=4c26890357e371b1&biw=1280&bih=899

These things are apparently pretty rare (although on Flinders Island I’ve heard of  people picking up a truck load of them once). 

Squid things basically make them when they have babies.

Oh well. Not everything that breaks will be a happy one.

14th and 15th | Break Something Every Day

Myeash. It was the weekend again and I obviously had something better to do than break things. 

Just kidding. Nothing is better than breaking things.

But I have things that have been broken, so:

#1: Annoying Tweety Bird birthday card speaker chip circuit board THING.

I stuck this in my dad’s mattress to freak him out when he went to bed one day. Instead he just put it in my computer chair. This is not okay. So it had to die.

#2: Bike pump

This pump didn’t work. Every time I tried to pump up my bike tires they would deflate more! Could have fixed it, but it was getting too old. It was sad to see it go. But I was about to throw it out. This thing was tough.

A tripod was used for these.

I like the random URL: for this video FJabTa. 

13th Jan | Break Something Every Day

So today was a drunk spontaneous thing at the last minute. A 3 Seeds bottle I found on a traffic light transformer. Hey. I can break that. And break it I did. Bang.

12th Jan | Break Something Every Day

Hair wax.

This shit was terrible. It didn’t last very long in the day and when I put it in, it would cause pain. So I decided to cause it pain. Because hair wax can feel pain.

Clare did the destruction part as you can see. So thanks to her.

This one was not that exciting. Damn you hair wax.

Damn you.

I’m running out of things to break so the next couple are going to be extra unexciting. But I’m going for quantity over quality here. leave the best ones til last.

11th Jan | Break Something Every Day

WINE!

Hey, Bernard. Hey. Hey Bernard. Bernard. Hey. Bernard… I’m a robot prostitute from the future.

Yeah, so Clare and I teamed up once more to make things that were once not broken broken. 

On the menu was Wine and SOMETHING ELSE. You will see tomorrow!

Oh god, the suspense.

Nobody even looks at these anyway. I’m just doing it for the satisfaction. I stuck a little reverse sequence of the explosion because I was sliding the little timeline slider back and forth giggling like a loser at it in reverse. Well, not really. I’ve seen it done before like with Jory from that Microwave show throwing things off his deck and I didn’t want to seem like I was copying him. BUT I don’t care. It looks too cool.

THAT CAT! Larli, seriously. I think cats are like emo teenagers. They mope around, are lazy, and they want to die. I know they have 9 lives, but that doesn’t mean you have to walk up to and stand right on where I was about to throw a glass bottle, CAT! CURIOSITY WILL GET YOU KILLED! They should make a saying out of that or something.

This is the note in detail.

10th Jan | Break Something Every Day

Yeaaaah, double digits. 10 things have fuckt’er.

So today I get to my car after work and have another note on my windscreen, this time written on official material (cardboard) telling me to not park over this person’s driveway. Probably an old person with nothing better to do. “Oh look! Something to complain about! How exciting! He won’t know what hit him! NIAA HAAR HAAAARRR!”.

Cunt.

I’ll show you.

Passive agressive? I can play that game. Let’s fight fire with fire…. or in this case… cardboard……… with fire……….

I couldn’t exactly “break” cardboard, so I did the next best thing and sent it to a fiery hell, then broke the ash shell with a hammer.

Sorry about the shitty filming, I filmed it in a crouching position with the camera between my legs. 

Shut up, it worked pretty good.

I love the sound of the fire as it just starts. Pgswhhhhhsssghgfff.

Yeah.